Special attention was on the squirrels. He held forth on his radio show about “righteous testosterone” and “pathetic males.” The Jonathan Franzen similarities end here. The island of Aulis has some shrubs and little amusement. A letterless mouth. A $30,000 deep plane facelift. A waterfall in a vacuum. A cautionary tale about painting oneself right out of one’s own life. An ecologically conscious anti-brand brand. A quasi-hallucinatory pursuit of a giant barn owl. Novels dramatizing the queer-normie agon. Tiger prawns, a third martini, Tiger Lily. “This book will not save your life!” I like to lie and see what I get away with. I’d rather go to hell than have my picture taken. Gradually, then all at once, my body is coming apart, odd chunks streaked with fat and bone and hair and teeth. My money was on Bill Clinton. He had a real aptitude for shaving. The word on everyone’s lips is “transformative.” No one should be thinking about babies mid-coitus.

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